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| A Professional Gambler |
A Professional Gambler
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He
went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round
of drinks."
The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the
Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."
The guy pulled out a huge
wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's
seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.
"I'm a
professional gambler," replied the man.
The bartender said, "There's no such
thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"
"Well, I only bet on
sure things," said the guy.
"Like what?" asked the bartender.
"Well, for
example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.
The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.
So, the guy pulled out his
false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid
the guy his $50.
"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty
dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.
The bartender thought
again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in
here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his
left eye.
"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.
"That's how I
win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in
lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back
room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the
locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the
bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll
bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss
into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up
straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.
The guy
climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place.
He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey
bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal,
you owe me five hundred dollars!"
The guy climbed down off the bar and said,
"That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each
that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!" |
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 | Advertisement | Girls Dirty Dancing
| | I have no words for this video... what-so-ever. | | Views : 444 |
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