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| Actual Police Comments |
Actual Police Comments
Body: The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the
country.
..15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."
..14 "Take your hands off
the car, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."
..13
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
..12 "Can you run faster than
1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a
9mm bullet fired from my gun."
..11 "So you don't know how fast you were
going. I guess that
means I can write anything I want on the ticket,
huh?"
..10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't
Think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the
shift
supervisor?"
..9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you
not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
..8 "The answer to
this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse
a cat or a dog?"
..7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey
shit!."
..6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."
..5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
..4
"Just how big were those two beers?"
..3 "No sir, we don't have quotas
anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets
as we want."
..2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal
friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your
bail."
And the best one . .
..1 "You didn't think we give pretty women
tickets?..... You're
right, we don't. . Sign here |
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